This weekend I watched Charlie McDonald’s new video ”I’m Scared”, and it forced me open my eyes to the person I’ve been in these past few years. Then, I immediately began to read and watch the deluge of responses his video received, and they awakened me to person I used to, and once again wish, to be.
It was refreshing to see that someone as talented as Charlie had the same fear of disapproval as myself. Refreshing in the fact that someone who was world-renowned in a digital community really just wanted to be liked. I understand that I am not alone in this, and the only thing holding me back has been my own inane mind. That was unsettling for me.
My lack of creating content comes from within. I am letting my perception of what others may think of me stop me from pursuing the activities in life I really love to do. I’ve spent so much time creating excuses to cover up the truth; “I don’t have the right equipment”, “I just don’t have the time”, “I’m not as attractive as others.”
Charlie may be at a road block, but he is still moving forward. What have I done? Nothing but make excuses.
I am not making vlogs, I am not writing blogs or short stories, and I can’t even remember the last time I picked up a paint brush. All things I enjoy doing. When I think of it, I enjoyed them in past because of the personal satisfaction it gave me. I am not sure when I became concerned with what the world thought. Why should I? The only person I am hurting at the moment is myself.
Now where do I go from here?
Well, I am going to listen to Michael Markman’s response to Charlie. I am going steal his advice to Charlie for myself. I will create content for myself and those that I want to communicate directly with. I am going to listen to Michael Aranda’s response, and understand there is just no pleasing everyone and some people will just want to hate. I am going to keep in mind what Hank Green’s response said; I will create myself. Constantly.
When I begin to doubt myself I will pull up the poem by nerfcy (sorry I do not know his real name) and remember this day all over again.
So, here is to the future. Here is to living my life for myself, and expressing it the way I feel fit. Hopefully, you will enjoy what I do, and join me on my journey. Maybe you wont. Either way is completely fine.
So, Thank you to Charlie for starting the conversation. Thank you to Michael, Michael, Hanks and nerfcy, and everyone else who was a part of this moment of enlightenment.